Real thing....is it?

All these years there have been many incidents when a normal person would feel a strong emotion in that particular situation and respond. But since I won’t feel that emotion, not only do I act the emotion that would be appropriate and sometimes even react. One significant incident was during my graduation years. My aunt (mother’s elder sister) was terminally ill which was severe case of liver cirrhosis and the house was grim. Mom would be sad whole day and dad was the usual. My sister would be sad too, I don’t know how much of it was because my aunt was ill but definitely coz mom was so upset.

I would never feel the sadness in fact when I used to pray for my aunt well being I did not really feel it. I did it because it was the right thing to do. I often tell my sister and some friends that I am not a good human being and they laugh it off thinking that I am just trying to draw their attention. But when I say it I really mean it sometimes especially when I see my mom and my sister. They are both so strong to have the courage to feel for others. Miraculously my aunt is safe and sound now. Indeed it is a miracle!!!

It not that I am emotionally cold, when people are mean or rude to me I feel very upset....very upset and no matter how much ever I try to get over it, I can’t. So I realized I feel strongly only for myself (It’s not so good to be self consumed). As time passed by I devised a really cool method to have some compassion for others. Every bad situation others are in I imagine me to be them. I make myself so much a part of the sufferers feeling that I started to feel the way that they did. Now in this case though the way I do it is wrong but the emotion is strong and true (unlike earlier where it was pure faking). Being true makes me feel very light hearted.

However being happy is something that needs zero efforts, I can be happy for anyone anytime. No brain work goes into that and no faking for sure. Happy happiness!!!!

"Everything is possible, if you can't do it then find the cheat code...Everything is imperfect"

Boy: " I luv u"

Girl: " I luv u 2" (Do I?)

Hot gal enters the room....Boy drools over d hot one.

Boy: " I luv u"(Do I?)

Girl: :-(...( I soo luv him)

No sorry there is something about some men which is irresistible

Theres something about married men....

As time is passing by, the demarcation between black and white is blurring....i see more of grey everywhere ....

My world - My responsibility

Day Zero: I was watching CNN IBN when they spoke about the gang war at Leopold’s'. Some channels had already started to claim it’s a terrorist attack. WOT!!!!! Gimme a brk I have been living in Mumbai for the past 24 yrs I know how terrorists attack, they don’t have the guts to confront me and my ppl. Switched off the lights and off to bed.

Day One: Holy shit!! It is a war….Like all I was others stuck to d TV for the next three days. Then the entire series of emotional ups and downs. It’s all over the place on media, at office, on the streets and even o my mind.

Day four: The operation is over at all the 3 places. Now the focus shifts to the aftermath and the “to do” for future. But I am sure many would identify with me on this thought. It is difficult to get sleep when u know that there is someone else out there who is fighting for ur life. I have heard and seen videos of Afghanistan and Iraq but never felt so terrible.

Day five: My blood was boiling, went for the march at the gateway- (I don’t know if marches help but it does one thing for sure- Solidarity). Then there were many other marches but the emotion had faded already.

Today: My pledge: I will vote for every election and more importantly make an effort to know not just more but a lot more about who I am voting for.
I will learn some form of self defense.
I will stand up against any form of corruption. It’s the root cause of terror entering countries like ours.