Real thing....is it?

All these years there have been many incidents when a normal person would feel a strong emotion in that particular situation and respond. But since I won’t feel that emotion, not only do I act the emotion that would be appropriate and sometimes even react. One significant incident was during my graduation years. My aunt (mother’s elder sister) was terminally ill which was severe case of liver cirrhosis and the house was grim. Mom would be sad whole day and dad was the usual. My sister would be sad too, I don’t know how much of it was because my aunt was ill but definitely coz mom was so upset.

I would never feel the sadness in fact when I used to pray for my aunt well being I did not really feel it. I did it because it was the right thing to do. I often tell my sister and some friends that I am not a good human being and they laugh it off thinking that I am just trying to draw their attention. But when I say it I really mean it sometimes especially when I see my mom and my sister. They are both so strong to have the courage to feel for others. Miraculously my aunt is safe and sound now. Indeed it is a miracle!!!

It not that I am emotionally cold, when people are mean or rude to me I feel very upset....very upset and no matter how much ever I try to get over it, I can’t. So I realized I feel strongly only for myself (It’s not so good to be self consumed). As time passed by I devised a really cool method to have some compassion for others. Every bad situation others are in I imagine me to be them. I make myself so much a part of the sufferers feeling that I started to feel the way that they did. Now in this case though the way I do it is wrong but the emotion is strong and true (unlike earlier where it was pure faking). Being true makes me feel very light hearted.

However being happy is something that needs zero efforts, I can be happy for anyone anytime. No brain work goes into that and no faking for sure. Happy happiness!!!!